Crystal Children - Never give up... they may surprise you...
Crystal child I hear you cry? What is this? As I type the words I'm scanning my books above my MAC trying to find the book. You know, by Doreen Virtue. If you have a child with ASD you should certainly seek solitude in this book, it is beautifully written from the perspective of the child and how all their traits are so very precious. Ones to hold in your hands and nurture, precious.
Some may find that hard to hold down. I read time and time again the struggles parents have with their children. I also see the struggle.
I know this. These crystal children know more than they let on. If they're unhappy with their surroundings they're going to act out. It is our job as parents / guardians of these angels to ensure they are not unduly ruffled.
I know that when William was acting out at school and I saw him being dragged out of class to prevent harm to others, it took me not very long to take him out of an environment that was going to have him non-verbal if I continued. As it was, I dragged him back to me by using sign language with the patience of a saint.
Rarely do I take him anywhere where I know is going to be too much for him - and I'm very glad to report that in the last week he has asked to go to the cinema and the zoo! So that's where we'll go.
My experience tells me we need to listen to these little humans far more than the average, sometimes, when they're weary and they have their monotone voice on, it's when you need to be most connected. It's here that they'll let you into their scary thoughts. Their vulnerabilities. Where they'll tell you their secrets.
It's now that the parent is normally weary - I see it all the time. Now of all times is when we must be patient of all. This is where you can connect with them the most and have the most profound work with them. Now is where you can reach into their soul and heal.
As their eyes connect with yours and their fingers seek safety on your skin, you know that you've connected at soul level. You've helped them to connect with themselves which is the most loving thing we can do for them and for ourselves.
It is then that we know that whatever happens, if they love themselves, and they love those around them, they're going to be alright in the world.
If we can SLOW DOWN time for these children, then we can reach them but it means Mummy and Daddy and carers, you have to SLOW DOWN too. You have to be fully in-the-room. You have to do your own self-care FIRST. You have to connect with YOURSELF first.
When you've done that work, and believe me, it's ongoing, forever changing - just when you have things licked, things will swap up again - to another level. This is where you continue to make sure you've slowed down enough.
10 things you could do for self-care:
1. Have a coach or therapist help you work out your thoughts (somebody who has been through what you're going through is a great bet!)
2. Journal (make sure you have a favourite pen or pencil)
3. Meditate (doesn't have to be 'clear your thoughts' - just sit in peace)
4. Light Candles (even the battery light ones or re-chargeables are a god-send)
5. A warm bath (lock that door!)
6. A green tea (the salted caramel ones I can vouch for!)
7. Get your nails done (gels are perfect for a nice 3 week make-over)
8. A good daily routine of showering / hair styling / make-up makes all the difference
9. Eat well (you know the rules)
10. Do what makes you feel good - personally I love to listen to music if I'm wobbling - my crystal child loves a bit of heavy metal so that's what we rock it out to!
If it all feels too much, reach out and talk to somebody. You are not alone. I know that when William smears it can break my heart but is something we get through together and only happens now when he's particularly stressed and I've missed his signals.
It's rarely their fault you know? We need training in these special gifted crystal children. They hold the key to true world happiness. We do actually need to be able to see their beautiful gifted souls.
From 'mark making' in September to full sentences in February.
"I am freezing. I am hungry. My boat is broken. I am wet. I miss my Mum. It is dark. I am scared. Ahhhhhhh, Help Me. Will"
So proud. My endless hours of sitting in reception at school have paid off. I have the teachers to thank too - they have him really understood. I am feeling very blessed.
Ha! I finally get onto the point of my blog - but I guess that needed to come out.
William is smashing school. I'll leave this here and blog about this another time.